Congratulations! You're Bridge has been Burned

          To be completely honest, I didn't think I'd ever have to write about you. I thought that you had merely become a background character in my life whom I could either ignore or put up with for as long as I needed to or the fates saw fit. Well apparently that's  not quite the case now is it? You need to pick yourself up and move on okay? I dated you all of four, maybe five months, and to be quite frank right now, those months took place almost two years ago now; probably a little more than that. Seriously, get over me. I'm not really worth anything to anybody right now. You tell me I'm scared of burning bridges? You think I should "man up?" Well you know, I've been fully capable of doing this for a while now. As a matter of fact I've wanted to as well. You annoy me every time you so much as gesture in my direction yet alone say something intended for me to hear. I could care less what happens any more between you and me. I actually have been wishing that you'd just forget about me and stop bugging me for about a year now. Yet you always found ways to creep back up and annoy me once more. Just go away. Go find somewhere you can wallow in self pity for having waisted so much time on me. I wouldn't have given anything back and I still have no interest in doing so now. Give up. Congratulations! You're bridge... has been burned.

A Quick Snap Back at a Friend

          Oh love, for my conscience sake, don't make me. This morning you stepped way out of line. You have yet to even scratch the surface of this story and as good as you may think your idea is its completely crap. You never would have said it had you actually had a clue as to how I feel. It is completely different than the way you seem to perceive my feelings. Then again, you were the one that said I was detached. In a way that hides my true feelings so i would have expected you to realize that there was at least more to the story before you so rudely interrupted.
          I know that it was intended for good and you were only trying to help, but I'm terribly sorry to inform you that it didn't help at all. Just realize that I live my life in accordance with my design; not yours honey. Like I said, you've barely scratched the surface of the three year monstrosity that is the story you assume to know how to "fix." You're snooty, backhanded comment wrecked my mind for hours due to the fragile state its already in. I am not afraid of burning bridges. Ask anyone that even slightly knows me... they'll tell you the same thing.

          Whats funny is that I will most likely look back on your little comment and laugh one day. Very rude of you to say but yet so easily ignored and proven wrong. I will prove you wrong.

Why Can't I Chose?

          Someone chose for me. Someone hurt them all and take me far away where I don't have to know I couldn't keep everyone happy. I hate myself for allowing it to happen; allowing it to happen so many times... So would someone make the decision for me? would someone take the burden? I can't stand to see either with another. I can't stand to be without both for more than a month or so. I can't stand to see them hurt.  I can't take both. That's just cruel. I've dragged them along behind me for over a year by threads thinner than a hair.
          Do I cut my loses and stay with one? And if I did would they understand if it gets hard for me after a few weeks go by and something re-agitates my feelings for the other? I don't want to pick. And if so which one? The one I feel closest to even when I'm mad? Or the one that can always make me feel better? The one who's gentle, silent, and kind; or the one that is thoughtful, understanding and supportive? And it's not like one or the other is lacking any of the traits the other has its just to a different magnitude. They are much alike but they don't know it and wouldn't like to admit it...
          But then theres the option to leave; to go find someone else and just suffer as they both move on without me, because neither would come back if I let them go. Obviously neither one loves me as much as I love them both... And I don't blame them. What is there to love? A hurtful, harmful, lying, deceitful, arrogant, selfish, jealous, lustful, being that would starve to death for pride, and is currently dangerously close to drowning in his own sorrows...
          It frustrates me to no end.